Log 3; The Atlantic Ocean

Motor-sailing until about 1600, unstable winds but fair and warm weather. Lots of activity in the horizons. Rolled in the genoa in a squall from clear sky and both chain-clips loosened/ broke in the process as the genoa flapped violently in the building wind. Only down to reefed fock and 3. reefed main.
85nm/24h = 157km

Squally, squally night—
Good progress, and the seas could have been worse.
At last check-round before bed, I found one solar panel hanging halfway down in the water as a wave had broken off the aluminium mounting. Easy fix, no further damages.
Concerned with my radio as it is getting worse; just shutting itself off and immediately on again. This interrupt and breaks off the winlink/Pactor connection when sending and receiving emails. I took the units apart, checked connectors and opened the radio but my care did not bear fruits.
86nm/24h = 159km

Celebrating that the dark chaos is at stern and fair weather and sunny days ahead.
Going mad with a clinking sound originating presumably from the floor or the water-tank (which is in the keel). I`ve heard it before in similar conditions, but it has gotten stronger. I attempted on ripping up the floors, which is all glued, to no success. Cut up a part of the floor under the table with a fein-saw, and then a square hole through the 12mm fibreglass down to the tank. No discovery of cause, but at least now I have a window to see the water level. It`s like a heavy ball of lead or stone is suspended in the tank on a string, bouncing endlessly off the walls and resonating. It`s pure pointlessness through the fiberglass in the floors and the table. AAaaaawwww!!!!
Concerned with my radio, it`s getting worse; just shutting itself off.
Played through a Dream Theater track on keyboard (The Count of Tuscany) I have barely even heard since 2011, but my fingers remembered, fascinating.
Super-bright starry heaven, and one particularly strong yellow-ish light just above the horizon. I checked the AIS, got to be a vessel. Nothing. Turned on the radar and scanned the proximate 20nm, nothing. I stared at it for a long time, could not decide if it was moving or not. I plotted it against the relatively vague stars in the background of this monster star and continued to watch. No movement, not a vessel. What was that?? Rare to see out in space all the way to the oceans crest.
102nm/24h = 188km
What a day of sailing!
Started the day by pitchpoling a Portuguese Manowar (Portugisisk krigsskip). Sun is shining, and we`re doing 5.5 – 6 – 7.4knots! Hope this lasts as long as possible!!! All napkins up. I got to get through the high pressure within the coming week and get north to 38-40N to catch the westerlies, a system now unfolding in the Labrador sea.
A school of Dolphins swam by, I get so happy when they do!
Baked bread and had a great lunch.
The radio finally died, and there was no longer a greater risk to open it rather than waiting for support. Luckily, it was the same spot as a year ago which had a bit of corrosion. Soldering lead with the thickness of just a bit more than a hair-straw is challenging when everything moves, but I got it back together and it works like a charm.
Got an email from another winlink station, Klaus-Dieter, a German cruising net called “Intermar”, with their QSO at 1630 UTC at 12.313mhz. They informed me about another of their sailboats just a short day ahead of me! Good to know it`s not too far to people should I for some reason need assistance.
Once again, no moon and a stinging crisp night-sky, pitch black water and mareel creating a comets-tail after Chilli, like we are a falling star on the reflection off an ocean in space.
125nm/24h = 231km

The sea is glittering with what from a distance looks like plastic bottles. Luckily, its only half deadly jellyfish; Portuguese Manowars, or sailing jellies. Strange creatures: bobbing around as if they have a float-plan. Some look like are tacking upwind, some on a beam reach while some lie capsized tanning their weird curly underbellies or sleeping off some food coma after a disintegrating feast on some small fish. Differentiating from most other jellyfish, they eat living pray and not plankton. Paralyzing small fish with their up to 30m tentacles, bringing them to the jelly central and digests without ingestion, only by spraying it with fancy chemicals and suck the fish-juice with its arms. Nice fellows.

Great day! Climbed the mast to get some different perspective this morning. Boat looks super-ship like with all sails out from above. Attempted on a cup of (butter)coffee, the first one since Mayaguana over two weeks ago. I`m careful because caffeine is a major trigger of seasickness, but in these calm conditions, that’s no longer a worry.
Came across something in my Motessier book, The Long Way, which really caught my eye; three different translations from Hebrew of a biblical verse on the topic of our ability to act freely when opposing moral challenges; “Thou shalt rule over sin” (promising that we will act good), “Do thou rule over sin” (commanding) and “Thou mayest rule over sin” (leaving us with the choice). Think of sin as willful blindness or ignorance; snake-genesis. What quote is obvious the right one to follow is (at least in my opinion) the latter, but, it isn`t obvious which one humanity follows, or whether it`s even consistency in our behaviour over time. I think this problem is a meta-epicentre of a parameter to observe to find the border of subjective vs. collective (diminished) ability to act rightfully. (having the movie “The Pianist” (Warsaw, 1938-45) fresh in mind; what a uniform or (and) a symbol (marking) is able to make humans do.)

Surprisingly good winds today, but dying down as we speak, now sometime in this glorious afternoon. What is the time?, hard to tell. It is 18.48 UTC whatever that really means. Well, it`s sometime past my recent late lunch- time. A ship passed today, second one I see since the Caribbean ocean.
On days like this, I feel like just continuing sailing, not land anywhere, just continue. Feel this enormous freedom to not be eaten by the structures of civilization. I remember the world, but it does not exist here.
Torpedo-dolphins having a jumping competition in front of the boat, streaming like silver arrows in the ((morild)) in this clear dark glittering night.
102nm/24h = 188km
Was woken by the AIS alarm this morning, and ran out in my surprise to look for ships. Big bastard at stern hunting me in, on actual collision course. They saw me on AIS too, but didn`t seem to care much. I altered course (which didn`t change much as I was doing 2knts, and they 14knts.) Thorco Logic, a about 200m long ship passed about 150m away (feels really close!)
I download small, high detail weather maps (in addition to large scale, lower resolution) to plan a path through the light winds, with changes every few hours. In heavy weather it`s usually too unpredictable as changes in conditions happens fast and rapidly as the local systems interact with each other.
Current plan is to get to 40N 49-20W by Saturday/72hours meaning 4.7knots average, which is not going to happen, but I got to fire up Pus to not miss the party going east when the winds become too light. Right now, it`s dead silence everywhere in a larger area, so I just attempt on the most conservative path.
My Jellies, which still floats by, by the thousands, seems to have their collective period of intercourse, and threesomes, and some more-somes. Or maybe it`s family mingling together, hard to tell.

Dug up an old external hard-drive from the chart table and discovered some old games (Battlefield 2/ 1942, Assassins Creed) and my father’s old music library (from when we actually downloaded music, HDD close to being a fossil). The Spotify playlists are getting a bit worn out, so this is gold!
Also found all digital material from my high school/ college days, strange to look through again.
83nm/24h = 154km
As I filled the diesel tank half full yesterday, with two of the four 20l jerrycans I had left, and still have 80nm to go before I`m seeing any wind, I really count the hours of usage left. Running at 16-1700 rpm (norm 2300, and marching speed is 2750) feeling on the consumption/ speed to be the most economical but I wish there were some way to read out consumption live.
I can only hope the current consumption is wise and this is to be the last of great highs I have to plunge through with engine-power in this watery desert.
Pus finally got some rest after 24 hours of motoring. I made it. Still about 80-90l diesel left, but also 3000nm (5555km). First downwind-sail since Brazil – Suriname; A good feeling to see the massive red “Code-0” (lightwind sail) unfold (without a wrestle, for once), measuring 12m x 12m, embracing half of the boat, making us glide silently with the wind.
96nm/24h = 178km

Really appreciate the emails! Don`t hesitate to send whatever intriguing you may come across online or IRL. There`s not that much input out here except weather reports (which are getting more and more exciting). (Keep file size below 50kb-90kb, or else it takes forever to download)

Log 2; The Atlantic Ocean


06.06 Day 12
Started and ended calm, but with some good sailing for a while, up to 6knots! Not seen that kind of speed so far on this voyage.
The beautiful birdbird-bird (long slim tail, as a long whip, white with distinct black pattern) tries restlessly to land on the boat; with long well calculated approaches from behind with the unfortunate outcome every time that there is no place to land if you have flat feet. I’ve not seen them land in the water so far, and when thinking about the fact that we are 550nm to nearest coast (990km) these guys must long for a place to rest!
Trying to introduce some exercise routines and yoga, but the motivation isn`t great. It does help on the energy and mood though. A bit flat after a week of grey moist weather and barely any wind.
The problem with the cooking gas valve persisted; ended up opening up the coil (which was by no means designed to be opened), found a corroded cord in the coil and fixed it; finally works!
The weather guy seems nervous on my behalf, so that’s a great sign for what’s to come!.. I kind of got a hint last night due to the mere size of the halo around the moon; with the moon at about 40-50 degrees on the sky, the halo reached almost down to the horizon, gigantic circle!
Blasting Devin Townsends Z2; tales of intergalactic alien warfare with the main mission of captivating humanities supply of quality coffee; great!

07.06 Day 13
All the way to Farmers Market in the playlist, and Im not even halfway!
Sea sea sea sea sea is all I see, endless grey. The past week I have progressed (not sailed directly) only 350nm, meaning 49nm a day/ speed of 2knts, which is pretty sad (That’s what’s generally takes three days, not seven).
The goal for the next seven days in 600nm, ending at about 31.14N 056.20W, and then “only” have about 1500nm left to the Azores.
I realize that I probably have short supplies to sail directly to Norway, as the distance Jamaica-Azores will take in total five weeks due to the abnormal slow weather conditions this year, and adding on another three to four weeks to that (60-70 days total without resupply) will probably be too much (but not impossible!) (hey, how`s the corona isolation going?)
The easterlies finally came! Life is so ridiculous different when sailing downwind instead of mash through waves head on, fighting against everything upwind and doing 3-4.5knots. Chilli is running 4.5-5.5 in what’s feel like a light breeze, with all sails up; full main tight in for stabilization, slack genoa and cutter-fock on a pole to windward. Almost starting to look forward to the stronger winds, to see what we can do!
Starts to get significantly colder; the coconut oil does no longer get out of the bottle by it self!
The lines in the night sky is absolutely massive, like a spiderweb of Mordor, covering the whole sky. The moon signifies turbulence…

08.06 Day 14

Holy shit what a night! Steady winds until about 02:30 when I was caught a bit with my pants down (not literally, haven’t really used pants in weeks), as the wind picked up from its steady 17knt to 35 in about 20min. Everything was black, except the enormous line of clouds and weather which where even darker. The lightning in the horizon was suddenly no longer in the horizon, but above me. For the first time at sea I really heard the thunder and got anxious it would hit the boat. I took apart all essential electronics; chartplotter, pc, HF-radio, AIS and shoved it in the oven (since it acts as a faraday chamber should the lightning strike), and unplugged everything I could not easily dismount. The boat started to lie sideways as the wind got too strong for the wind-vane and rudder to counteract the sails. I fought the mainsail down as the wind picked up to 45knots with periods of over 50 and heavy rain, great shower!

With the main down, the fock still on its pole and a bit of the genoa out to leeward for balance, Chilli surfed with the elements in 6-7knots; behaved just perfect. I watched the thunderclouds for a couple of hours before I collapsed in my bunk. I slept for maybe 30min and had a super strong dream, which I seriously thought was real, being outside in the cockpit in this exact storm, seeing another larger sailboat nearby and realized that without my AIS I`m completely invisible. I woke up immediately and realized that it was just a dream, mounted the AIS back and fired it up before going back to sleep.

Finally got to test the storm-wall for the doghouse I made, worked perfectly!

The front closed in on me in the morning hours, giving steady 25-30knots. This massive line in the sky reaching as far as I can see in both directions made me think of the origin of the great serpent surrounding the world; not impossible this phenomena is linked to its origin in mythology. I tried to steer away from it, but It closed in until after a couple of hours it just disappeared above my head. Winds calms down, the worst is over, for now.


"Sea, Sea señor Squidvåg"
Questionable artwork commissioned by Mr. Borge Bull
09.06 Day 15
Light steady winds and good sailing.
Realized the fock has ripped apart during the heavy weather, hope to revitalize it when conditions get calmer, but the sail has seen better days.. Made an attempt to start sewing by hand, but even with my sailmakers glow and prepinched holes, it`s too thick. Luckily, even though it’s a furling sail, It can be reefed and used as a stormsail, which I continue to do.
First starry night in a while.

10.06 Day 16
With some interesting weather at night-time fresh in mind, I now interrogate the weather reporter on the subject of squall-activity at night. He assured it wouldn’t be any this night.
02.00 – Winds picks up to 35, and the dark sky is full of squalls. An hour later, after the sea has been sufficiently stirred up to 2-3m waves, short and stupid, there`s suddenly not a breath of wind. I don`t dare to hoist the main sail as a stabilizer as I usually do as the sky is full of angry clouds. The boat rocks like crazy as Im lying sideways in the waves and drifts slowly to SW. Super annoying. One hour later the 35knots is turned back on and drags Chilli somewhat unwillingly headfirst through the waves upwind.
The sea settles somewhat throughout the day, but I miss the beam reach sailing.
Its going to be a long way home.
The weather this year is highly unusual, but I heard rumours that it will progress towards somewhat normal patterns sometime next week.


11.06 Day 17
Calm night, and an exceptional unstable morning; believe I had the genoa in and out seven times, went in a circle twice. I fell asleep in the cockpit and jumped up and reefed in the genoa again a strong gust spun up the wind generator, and I expected a stronger squall. Again, it was just a gust. Back to dead calm. Large strange dark clouds and system everywhere. Tiresome…
Drifted south the whole morning and decided to motor-sail the rest of the day to take advantage of the light NE winds, or else it looks like from the forecasts that I would end up drifting here at least until next week. Hopefully I get to the other side of a front tomorrow which might give SE winds to go north. Might be difficult to get to the Azores, unfortunately.
Its misty, wet and cold. Silence is frustrating but going infinitely in the exact wrong direction is even worse; I believe most Atlantic crossings looks quite different from this.
Made a cake to make up for this shitty day, which turned out exceptional.

12.06 Day 18
The frustration of yesterday lifted with a great night rest in calm condition and the engine running on low rpm. Not ideal course, but ok, at least some eastwards progression.
Really feeling the longitudinal shift as the day starts earlier and earlier. Woke up at 05.00 to a sunrise looking like a renaissance painting in 180 spherical degrees, with “Heaven” in front with a tremendous play of colours and sky formations, and “Hell” at the stern; numerous squalls dark as where the sun don`t shine(huhu). I ramped up the engine to not get swallowed by the darkness and got well out of it. Suddenly, a strange splash. I only saw the wake, then again. Pyramid waves? A pair of huge dolphins dancing with Chilli! What a view in the crystal clear deep blue water. Not a gust of wind so no waves or ripples to disturb the transparency of the waters crust. Only a huge swell from north, 2-3m high and 30-50m long valleys of water which only lifts us up and gently down. I sat about an hour in the bow playing with them, waving my arms as to orchestrate their movements. They lay over to one side to look up and see me from time to time, and it seems they try to replicate what I do!
Had a much needed, long, refreshing and energizing swim and freshwater shower. The result was a full clean-down of the boat, laundry, cleaning and organizing of a food compartment rounded up with a great breakfast with freshly baked bread, what a morning! Good spirit in Dolphins.Mackerel skies warns for what’s to come…

2. Leg; Mayaguana – South of Bermuda

Hi! My name is Mathias and I will be posting Martins weekly-ish logs while he is at sea. I speak to Martin daily and if you by any chance want to get a message across to him you can send it to me at mathiasdellner@gmail.com. As he is sailing in solitude I know that any message, small and all, will be appreciated.


Day 5, 30/05/2020

Departure Mayaguana
Realize that the axle-shaft sealing is flushing the engine room with water when the boat is accelerating, as the engine is pushed forward and easing the pressure on the seal. Not good. I tightened it up, and it works, but should be replaced soon.
Hoisting the genoa and sailed the 30min it took through the reef, when the wind died 100%. I`m restless and got some nausea because of the seasickness plaster. The ocean is flat, so I removed it, just makes me feel crap.
Check-in in on the DooDah/ Transatlantic cruisers HF-net, and get the weather report with Chris Parker; Trying to get north of 32N by Thursday to catch a weather system going eastwards.

Supersweet dinner; Bacon, potato, coconut mash and fried plantain cakes for dessert.

Plantain (or banana) cakes recipe;

Mash two large, super-ripe plantains inside their peal and squeeze them out.

Add honey, egg, three spoons of flour, salt, cinnamon, vanilla and coconut oil (optional; ginger, chilli, nutmeg).

Fry in coconut oil (one spoon-cakes)- epic$$

Played some sax and watched an episode of Billions (great stuff!) before sleep.
No activity through the night, but;
When I woke up around 04.00, the moon had set, and the great cosmos was swarming all around me; the milky way was 3D, shooting stars, great thunderclouds in the distance with frequent lightning and a stream of light around and after the boat in the pitch black invisible water (Milky sea effect/Morild); what a firework! Chilli was sailing through a galaxy!

103nm/ 24h

Day 6; 31/05/2020
Woke up by the autopilot alarm saying we are off course; the anchor for the driver-arm had loosened in the deck. Hand-steered while the epoxy hardened about an hour. Dead silent, 20-30m long gentle waves.
Filled four cans of diesel on the tank. Messy work.
Cleaned the deck, and had a swim
A bit of Northerly winds in the evening and through the night. Full sails and an extra knot.

102nm /24h

Day 7; 01/06/2020
Woke up of a dream where Chilli was anchored on the upper side of a waterfall, on a lake. The tide turned and Chilli drifted over the edge, and was hanging in the anchor chain halfway down, but I had a plan on recovering her as long as the anchor held. A voice called on me, which I always get when I should wake up for some reason. The minute after I got up, the AIS alarm went of. A sailboat on the horizon.
Stopped the boat, swam some rounds around the boat, checked the engine and filled oil. That silence, on the dead calm sea and early morning, after running engine non-stop for 48 hours, my gawd.

111nm/ 24h

Day 8; 02/06/2020
Blowing up to 30knts and later 38knts with changing wind direction and extraordinary messy seas. I got seasick, ate a bag of banana chips and started throwing up. It didn’t stop until 20.00. No food or water, very tired.
Blasting Opeth and singing loud kept some life in me!
First full day in 18months I’ve used a sweater.
Focus on not going west

96nm/ 24h
Day 9; 03/06/2020
Finally calmer seas! Exhausted after yesterday. Good sail, and finally some eastward progression.
Got some nasty rash after yesterday. Boiled up some Chaga/Ginger/Ashwagandha coctail, hope it works.
Food tastes awesome after 36h fasting; small pot of rice with a couple of eggs, half onion and a can of sardines.
Day 10; 04/06/2020
Another good day of recovering. Cleaned the boat and got myself a good freshwater shower, and filled the water tank.
Turned off the engine defiantly as I can’t get to Bermuda before the heavy weather hits. Just got to stay south of 30N to not get hit, and sail on the outskirts of the system in three days. Going to go slow for some time.
Finished first season of Billions”, want more.
Dreaming of Napoleon cake..

49nm/24h sailed
18nm progression

Day 11; 05/06/2020
Dead silence. Drifted in a circle throughout the night, progression of 18nm the past 24h, and doing between 0.5 and 2.5knts with all sails up. At least now in the right direction, crazy. Its not even anything steering the boat; the tiller just stays bit tilted to the side by it self.
Fresh bath this morning, the sea is getting a lot colder and fresher up here.
Some maintenance on the “heart interface” (electronic-system monitoring unit), the electric gas valve and some surgery on a speaker.
The rash (Hives/Elveblesten)  is gone!
Wish for some wind soon, in this speed it will take 85days to reach Norway…


1. Leg; Jamaica – Mayaguana

My heart was racing as I threw the shorelines aboard and jumped after Chilli who was drifting rapidly away from the pontoon in the aprox. 25knt of wind. The high pulse was a good combination of what felt as crossing the finish line after a marathon of preparations and thought processes the past week, and uncertainty about when I would set foot on solid ground again, and everything in between now and then. 4700nm is beyond my comprehension of mileage and time on the ocean. My senses was heightened when I got out in the waves as the boat hadn`t been off the anchorage since mid march, and there is always surprises; open lockers, drawers, unsecured stuff no matter how well checked it is. To my surprise nothing was falling around, but I realized I had forgot to fold in the mast-steps and call mom. A trip up the mast in two metres waves to kick of the seasickness (classic) and some last calls and glimpses of internet while the mountains of Jamaica disappeared into the evening mist and the timelessness of the sea settled in me.

I was sailing. The first three days I was literally only sailing and watching the vast scenery, weather systems, sunsets, sunrises, water, heaven and the boats movements in this soup of reality. The fact that I had no idea about when I would get anywhere made the total experience unlike any other sail I`ve started. Usually I calculate a ETA, and subconsciously count days and hours until we reach the destination. Not this time. The days flew by in a strange speed, long experienced hours and strangely short days.

The cuts and wounds on my hands and feet after the prep work finally started to heal, and the battle against the saw-dust which had found it`s way absolutely everywhere in- and outside on the boat after my sailor friend Leonardo had helped me out with some wood works while I was away from the boat (and decided that the companionway was a great place to use the electric sawing machine, cheers…) , started to come to and end.

We had mostly steady 15-25 knots of upwind sailing except from about 25 hours of motoring through the windward passage between Cuba and Haiti, just as expected. With the slight modification to the mainsails shape, and the absence of Avocado on the foredeck (the dinghy which I left in Jamaica) as a great wind-catcher, Chilli did remarkably better upwind. A relieving indication when looking at the probable winds for the rest of the passage… The Monitor windvane is working like a dream after the overhaul, equally the water-maker, radio rig and everything else aboard.

I get my weather forecasts through GRIB files (synoptic weather charts) downloaded from Winlink, and through Chris Parkers HF (radio) nets for transatlantic cruisers. After a good talk with them as I approached Bahamas, he recommended that I should wait as the Atlantic systems where unpredictable past the coming week, potentially rough and not in my favour.

Luckily, I decided to do so and anchored off Mayaguana (23.05.20). The day after I realize that my clogged ear had developed into an ear-infection, which did leave me on penicillin and strong painkillers the past week. The meds have been effective, and I’m now looking to leave on tomorrow; Saturday 30.05. Due to corona am I not able to check in to the country or go ashore. It would not make much of a difference here anyway, as the island is basically a patch of sand with about 200 locals living on rice and beans. Truly happy I really filled the boat up in Jamaica!

Mathias Dellner will continue to put out some blog posts here about once a week, as we have daily contact. Do you for any reason want to get in contact with me during the voyage, mail him at mathiasdellner ((at))gmail(dot)com. All is welcome!

// Martin


I sail now.

I leave.

Only ocean awaits, for a long time ahead

Leave the tropics, leave this green fruitful latitude. The environment of my past one and a half year, and the world of those memories. Leave the destination of my past years of aim of growth.

Plans has changed, and that’s what they should do. Plans is good as long as one follows an aim and not exactly the plan.

The past weeks has been wonderfully insane. An amazing time with Alibaba, stuck in the most wack and happy world imaginable; they show for whats of true value and experiment with unique traits.

Im finally through an immensely intense periode of preperations, and now Im ready. I hope.

See you on the other side.


Track me? – My Position
– Once a day I will send a position and status report via Winlink/ HF

Podcast with Explore North; Podcast #54: Kaster loss for 50 dagers tur

Alive II: Ouroboros

It’s said that the journey is the goal, but I find that somewhat inaccurate, or at least poorly articulated.

Progress is the goal because that’s the path to the centre.

In a sailboat, progress means nautical miles, but for a sailor and pilgrims alike, progress means fruitful and nourishing environments. It means being exposed to experiences constructively directed at an undeveloped potential. It means being challenged on every quality of one’s being by the relativism of culture and diversity, to be confronted on biased belief’s and inherited faults.

To achieve this, unrestricted sight, that is to say, the total willingness of sacrificing one’s comprehension of reality is mandatory. This means chaos, and the art of it is to chew of just enough to stimulate self-transformation without damage. Willful blindness is, in my opinion, the greatest sin, which is indeed deadly. Ignoring predators implies bad luck.

If we believe to be masters of our soul, then we become their servants. If we are their servants, we must make ourselves their masters, since she needs to be ruled. For our salvation and for the attainment on our soul, we must sacrifice. Thus no sacrifice can be too great for us. If our virtues hinder us from salvation, discard them, since they have become evil to us. The slave to virtue finds the way as little as the slave to vices.

C.G. Jung, The Red Book

This is one of the oldest insights in history, naturally enough because it goes hand in hand with survival. Examples of representations of this are archetype variations of “the good King”, like Osiris in Egyptian mythology and the Abrahamic story of Moses. The stories reflect that if one chooses to ignore bad intentions within the realm of one’s reality, one ends up being scattered in pieces across it, or walking the desert for 40 years. To gain knowledge requires sacrifice, which is by no means pleasant, but the discomfort might act as a compass to the dragons den. In Wace’s King Arthur and the Nights of the Round Table, the knights conclude in their quest to find the holy grail, a symbol of enlightenment, transformation and fertility, to search where they least want to look. In Norse mythology, Odinn, just as Horus in Egyptian mythology, sacrifices one eye to gain knowledge. The same happens in Dante Alighieri’s Dantes Inferno, whereas he has to descend through the nine circles of the purgatory before reaching hell to gain access to heaven. In all these stories and numerous more, there is a heroic or involuntary descent to hell and back.

The case of human civilization is the externalization of responsibility in complex hierarchies of value, and our ability to supervise our behaviour probably bypassed our capacity when reaching group-sizes of more than 70 individuals. That is long ago, and the unbelievable intelligent way of tackling this problem has been through stories, mythology and religion, which over millennia has been refined to transcendent honey of wisdom and taken a life of its own. Sometimes to be lost in its own occultness, sometimes to bear great fruits.

God is Dead” wrote Nietzsche, whereas he described “the void” left behind by the collective abandonment of religion. The function of religion was not only to add a spiritual structure to comply with, a supportive crutch in the face of existence, but also the dissemination of values created throughout human civilization. When religion became too abstract and diffuse, and the rationality of reason so clear, the tradition that the generations previously bore was extinguished. With it also vanished the foundation of values that are every culture’s spine. We lost not only a crutch to hang our inadequate sense of this reality, but also the understanding of ourselves. That something was sacred and highly respected was left in the domain of faith, and not understood as something fundamental in the struggle for existence and self-restraint. Life loses meaning, and we wonder why. We chase happiness, forget responsibility. We rather believe in the absence of a God than to not believe. Respect as a concept withers in the prism of relativism. The present-day represent a storm with high seas, and if we are not to capsize, humanity as a whole has to manoeuvre with utmost attention and focus. 

Circumambulation, C.G. Jung

It is now one year since Chilli crossed the Atlantic ocean, and I can genuinely say the past year has been another journey through all the twelve chapters of progress or growth; Circumambulation, the journey to the centre, the goal of a cycle of growth and start of the next.

It is, therefore, based on a compass directed at values and meaning instead of magnetic poles, that I have come to the enormously difficult conclusion of heading back north to Norway, and let the journey unfold itself further in the land of my roots. I’m also boiling on a considerable project I genuinely want to develop, which hopefully will give the world a little push in a better direction. Another factor is that my trouble with seasickness does not seem to seise, even after 10 000nm and intense research on every remedy that might cure it.

A quick summary of the last six months (since the previous blog… sorry…)
It has been a rather intense collection of chapters, with a lot of sailing, many countries, and a considerable amount of reading, thinking and writing for my studies.

I’ve also decided to release some of my work for you to “enjoy” – HERE, and a list over my largest inspirational sources which I really recommend – (Books, websites, Youtube, + reading list) – HERE

  • September
    • Brazil (Belèm, Soure)
      • Started online-studies: History of Idèas (which is somewhat to blame for the inconsistency of updates)
    • Brazil – Suriname (Paramaribo) with Filipe (4+3 days, stop in Fr. Guyana)
      • Little sis, Nora, appears!
  • October
    • Suriname – Grenada, with quick rest in Tobago. (4+1 days)
  • November
    • Grenada – St. Martin (3 days)
      • Guro, a friend of Nora, joins
    • St. Martin – Dominican Republic (Semana) (3 days)
    • DR – Cuba (Puerto Vita) (4 days)
    • Puerto Vita – Havana (4 days)
  • December
    • Cuba
      • Goodbye to Guro
      • Hello Ingrid, bye Ingrid
      • University exams at the Norwegian embassy in Havana
      • Juliana joins Chilli
    • Havana – Cayman Island ( 5 days and a storm)
      • Christmas!
      • Little sis disappear
  • January
    • Cayman Island – Jamaica (Kingston)
      • Climbed Caribbeans highest mountain, Blue Mountain Peak
      • Juli disappears
    • Kingston – Cayman Island
      • Vår joins
      • Earthquake
    • Cayman Island – Jamaica (Montego Bay (current location))

Now we are enjoying calm days in the vast greenness of Jamaica, and will stay, at least in the country, for a good while before deciding on the route back north.

Sincerely, thank you for reading,

– Martin

Year One


This year has been wild.
It seems like a lifetime and just yesterday at the same time Chilli left Oslo, 10.07.18.
The departure was the end of the by far most chaotic and intense three years of my life, and on departure the boat was an absolute mess. I was an absolute mess, and my ex-girlfriend likewise.
It took some weeks before we stabilized somewhat to not spontaneously be on the brink of tears because of exhaustion. I`m still looking back to that time with fear, but at the same time it was a enormously satisfying challenge!

It was surprisingly hard to finally leave Norway,
I must admit it was a tear in my eye when we left Hidra for Shetland, knowing that I did not know when I would see Norway again. It was a huge feeling of meaninglessness, and it kept with me for several months. Questions of why and what the hell I was doing, who did I do it for, what did I expect to get out of it. Had I just been lost in a frienzy of thousends of practical problems and challenges with the random result of a circumnavigation?

Anyway, here I am, Belém, Brazil, 1 year after. I understand why now.

  • 6000nm ( 11 1111km) sailed
  • 12 new countries and 3 continents
  • 6 storms (3 at sea)
  • 12 Crew-members + Pus
  • 67 Ports and anchorages
  • 32 height meters
Sister and Brother

A huge thanks to all crew and new friends!

// Update; Chilli is back on the water after almost two months on land for repairs and new antifouling. The wooden cradle broke during the operation of getting back in the water, and would it have failed 2minutes earlier it could mean the end of the boat. Close call. See instagram for full story.
Anyway, it feels like being reborn to be back on the water, wow.
Looking forward ro receive my sister in Suriname in September, and start new studies in August, online!

Another Life

Hello world! Life is pretty insane as always, and more than ever after my arrival back to Belèm. Life breath. After the two months more or less as a hermit in Soure, I returned to the city with just enough understanding of the language that it allowed me a completely new ticket to this society and to experience being a part of a community this different to the west has needless to say been “other-worldly”. Much thanks to a absurdly encounter of a now true friend for life, Fillipe, whom have taken us on some mindbogglingly adventures the past weeks.

As some of you know, on my passage back to Belèm I got a serious problem with the boat. More specifically it was the bearing supporting the axle through the hull (between the engine and propeller) which dissapaired, leaving me with a heartbreaking banging sound when motoring. After three weeks and a tremendous amount of adrenaline Chilli was brought on land, and still is, now four weeks later. The axle repair took two days, but im using the opportunity to to a complete refit of the bottom paint (and scraping down 10 years of paint takes time..) Looking at finishing in about a week.

Update; last Thursday, while fighting some bottom-paint, the 1,20m structure I stood and worked on collapsed, resulting in a straight fall, chin first in the asphalt. Five stings in the chin, strained ankle, wrist and jaws. Luckily ‘m in the best hands, with friends helping me with everything from navigating the medical system, making me dinners and making sure I have what I need! I’m recovering in an completely ridiculous speed, so I believe I’ll survive!

One doesn`t exactly get fat by working full time scarping the hull, and drink Ayahuasca every weekend

I understood fairly early in life that pleasure is not necessarily suppose to be pleasurable. Humans are simply not designed to be only happy (as certain aspects of the current world leads us to believe). Pleasure therefore became voluntary suffering, where I would maneuver myself to explore and expand my limits, knowledge and understanding. We will suffer anyway so lets make the best of it, be the one who choose, be the one who invite.

In this quest my interest in the psyche really ignited about the age of 15, experimenting with meditation and later hypnosis. A few years later it may be no surprise that I found the introduction to alcohol and marijuana extraordinary interesting. Luckily, I was at the same time pretty hard computer nerd, and knew how to research. I researched everything. I understood what was bad, and what was less bad, and what`s not bad. By this I bypassed the the (especially at the time) standard belief system of putting everything except coffee, paracetamol and alcohol in the same big ugly category of drugs.

Despite the dangers of life, always live for the sake of Self-transformation

Nietzsche – Zarathustra

This journey continued through my early 20th, experimenting with LSD, Psilocybin and MDMA. Some of the absolutely most important experiences for my development, and the end of years of depression.
Moving to the UK did`t actually restrict the supply of psychotropics, but a darker truth of how a culture heavily based upon substances came forth. The UK is collectively alcoholics, and has an extremely damaging party culture. The goal of a week is to stop being hangover, usually by breaking and drinking more, and wait for the weekend to get smashed (How to mid-life crisis..). I had friends getting lost to cocaine, alcohol, weed and ecstasy, and I lost more and more interest in participating in this reality in my last years in the UK. It did`t support life. I withdrew, and gained a huge interest in health and foods. Being alive seemed like a lot better idea than continuously try to kill my self.
Half a year later I found found Ayahuasca, now five years a go. I found the opposite of what society was struggling with. Support of Life.

December 2014 I received my fist batch of the master plants, and had my first journeys. The same Christmas I came back to Norway as a light, and regained contact with my father after years of bad waters. The same Christmas I got the idea and decided to do the circumnavigation. I would not have been sailing without the influence of Ayahuasca.

Knowledge should always be sought first and foremost for the purpose of energizing Life.

– Nietzsche

The point I`m making is that Ayahuasca is a tool to unveil the potential of life and the human experience the same way my vessel, Chilli, is a tool to unveil the potential of learning, experience and relatively understand a part of the world, and the more one know and understand, the more one may contribute to align this reality in to something better. I ought to participate in that responsibility.
To do so I have to keep my head out of the sand, not compromised and dysfunctional, but sharp and resourceful. Dare to face, to see, to manifest and practice things not for the purpose of pleasure or happiness, but to positive progression of the whole. It has not been easy, time after time, hanging over the side of the boat puking my guts out due to seasickness, but I do not stop. It has not been easy giving up alcohol, sugar and every other destructive drug, which to a horrifying degree defines the current human society, but it is no longer a part of me. It does not support life, do contribute negatively to inevitable future, and directly opposes the much needed progression in the countless critical challenges we subjectively and collectively are faced with. This is unconscious consumption, and unconscious consumption is our time biggest sin. This behavior has to die.

Your responsibility is to sharpen and wield the tools that makes you you, because if not, you are in best case dead-weight to humanity, contributing only on the journey down to the abyss, because hell exist, and it is not a place you go after you die. It is something growing in to our very reality when we do not pay attention.

On the bright side, the world is full of things that does not try to kill us, but rather to a immensely fascinating degree makes us more alive, and sustain it! I theorize that the reason humanity is much more caught up with the opposite is that escaping reality, that is to say, out of the conscious action, limit conscious capacity and induce sleep, is to stay on safe grounds. You don`t dare explore the deep woods at night, but then you also may not discover the forest-fire before it`s too late.
Escaping “in to” reality is uncomfortable. One sees things, see truth, and this amplify the need to stay alert, resourceful, strong, alive. The red pill.

There is a scale to “how alive”. On the one end one is unconscious, deprived of sensory input and with no output. Nothing matters, because one is not a part of it. Sleep.
On the other side the life-experience is an unbearable overload of information, every life process is revealed and existence is an absolute prison. Everything matter, everything is your responsibility and burden to bare, the continuation of life as a whole is on your dependence.

– what to desire?

Ayahuasca is far from the only tool to pursue an amplification of life and is just as sailing around the world, not for everyone. But taking responsibility for ones own life is a contract we signed on our parents conception (free will? maybe not completely).

Family of Tonantzin

What I fundamentally want to inspire to is that you, my beautiful tribe of followers, explore what might improve you to be you!

In my studies of health, bio-hacking, psychology, sleep, psychotropic and medicinal plants I’ve come across some gems, and the result of this (other than me functioning like superman, and able to bob around in the high seas alone) is a comprehensive paper I call “Sailors Life – Upgraded”, attempting to summarize these discoveries. Im sending it out on personal requests, but do not want to make it public just yet. Send me a mail if you`re eager to explore 🙂

The further plan is stay until August, where as my visa runs out, and sail to Suriname (unless I get another extension!) By then I will have completed the Stop It At Source campaign in Marajó, and built my self a life here it will be heartbreaking difficult to leave.


The hart beat is in the river. It pulses two times a day, and functions on a no less sophisticated way than our own vascular system in regards to its surrounding environment, but with a vast array of content. Some of this content certainly makes every swim in the river slightly more exiting than else where, knowing that electric eels, violent pink dolphins, penis-fish, crocodiles, crocodile-eating-anacondas and anaconda-eating-piranhas swims freely around me. My neighbors dog at Ilha das Oncas was by the way eaten a couple of weeks ago.

But this is presumably a natural consequence of a hyper-alive reality, where the way is: eat AND be eaten, which is, looking at quality of life, way more useful than having the curse of being conscious of the possibility of being eaten all the time, as we humans has managed to develop. This world is certainly a bit chilly on me (being used to that Striking-Snake (huggorm) is the most, and Only dangerous thing of Norwegian wildlife), but at the same time somewhat seductive; being immediate close to certain death, similar to the pitch black sea while sailing offshore alone in the night. If I trip, I`m dead. A feeling that the power of the apple is wearing of, in addition to a slight inspiration emitted by the still primordial-minded animals. No filters between, no security nets to catch if I fail, no possible help (sorry mom). Glimpsing true chaos through the blended layers of a highly sophisticated order. It`s amazing what it`s possible to get used to!

Unfortunate for this, and most other parts of the world, humans broke out of their prehuman metaphysical habitat (while still being able to talk snake, ending up eating apples, must be trippy) and created their own artificial structure in between appropriate layers of primordial relative function. This “outside world” proved way too dangerous and complicated for us to survive in without more artificial stuff like plastic and aluminium.
Even though the “well watered” Amazon is possible the worlds most alive area, it is straight out horrendous to see how it is treated. It acts as the public renovation system; is your TV broken, throw it in. Is the trash bin of your restaurant full (and you happen to be located on the riverbank) throw it in. Do you produce aluminium? Lie about accidental emissions of highly toxic waste (throw it in). Eden is being destroyed. Maybe it had been better if Eve was eaten?

More on that later.

Ok, so a quick update (I promise, im not actually nihilistic, life still has meaning, and it`s worth fighting for the continuity of it. Just need to say; shame on you Europe, bad morality. 1492 was NOT a start of something good).

Without Daniel and Christiane in “Thorben” I`ve probably been robbed, shot, robbed a bit more, sunken and been thrown out of the country several times by now. Thank you for a crucial education in Amazonian cruising, and for great company!

Oh yes, I`m still living on a boat, in Amazonas. Stuff are interesting, but no matter where you are, life is life, and here life is seriously life.
The last backpacker, Alex, which have sailed with me since Las Palmas (December) continued his journey a couple of weeks ago (All the best to you amigo!), the lifesaving Swiss-Brazilian couple we sailed with since we arrived in Belem where on their limit of permitted stay (before the boat had to be taxed in) and had to leave Soure (which im currently in), Pus has found a new family (buhuuu!! :/)(not the engine “Pus”, shes still here and now finally working again), meaning i`m now truly solo again. First time since Portugal! It`s amazing how quickly one learn a language when absolutely no one talks English, aka. my Portuguese has gone from being non-existent to only be pretty shit, which is a tremendous development in my eyes!

Otherwise I use a lot of time on educating my self in the best way possible for the inevitable future, while trying to ignore the continuously growing list of broken things and maintenance on the boat (I &@£€ REALLY HAS TO CONTINUE WORKING ON SOON). For some reason ever since arriving in Brazil everything decided to break down; engine, anchor system, bilge pump, solar panels, wind generator, HF radio, lights, two phones, a hard drive (with all content for the Atlantic crossing ): my MacBook (no more videos, sorry)(containing the photo library and written documents, only backup on the drive that failed), toilet, hatch, in addition to some water leaks (it`s rain-season, it seriously rains a lot atm). In addition I also just managed to cut open my foot badly on a hermetic can.
Otherwise I`ve more or less completely given up alcohol and sugar
(no need for substances to dig my head down in the sand with when it is possible to stare reality straight in its eyes all the time!)(and no, no other substances either), are fasting for 18-20 hours every day and have gotten a tremendous hangup on Frèdèric Chopin and C.Jung. I`m not going insane, promise. Isolation just implies less boundaries of self allowed existence-exploration.

Further plan?
Sailing north to French Guiana/Suriname (in a month or two) before probably staying in Tobago/Grenada until the end of hurricane season.

Miss you all!
// Martin

Atlantic Explored – Entrada do Amazònia

Just a super quick update, We have crossed!

Everything went smooth, still floating, mast still standing, we did NOT run out of butter, cheese or chilli-sauce (no pun intended), and nothing broke!

We used 17 days on 1800nm, startet pretty rough with F 8-9 first two days, after that stable sailing wind with only two days of no wind. Made seven cakes, caught two fish, lost all fishing-gear (not proud of that), was accompanied by a huge Blue Marlin for a while (see pic), did not throw each other (or our self) overboard!

Alex found true love while traveling

Closing in on the South American continent we got (two) a reel taste of tropical storms, as from going from no wind to F 10 (full storm) in matter of 2 minutes, lying flat in the water, bitch black darkness, trying to de-rig spinnaker pole and reefing mainsail, and not filling the boat with water. Pretty happy the seawater temp. is about 30 degrees and not 2 when beeing washed down.

Master Oogway 900nm offshore

The water changed from true-blue to brown-green, the smell of freshwater and vegetation accompanied by birds and surprisingly butterflies waked as second layer of fluid on the sea, and finally a green horizon under the ever changing massive sky formations, an amazing feeling of beeing welcomed back to earth, where apes thrive. Ocean are something we may master, never conquer, coexist with, but not inhibit.

We finally found the marina (I just hoped still existed, the only one in a city with two million people), when gazing upon the might number of sailboat- masts; three. We are now the only non-Brazilian boat in this massive city, and entrance of Amazonas. This country is a wasp hive of internal conflicts (more on that later), and the crime-rate has really gone through the roof last years.

Brazil is a seriously new chapter for this expedition and the plan for now is to stay for a good while. Lots of work to be done! The possibility of going further up-river seems unlikely because of the pirate activity, in addition to the already challenging environment of anchoring in the rivers.

For now we rest, get through a good list of maintenance on the boat, and enjoy the tastes of this fantastic land.


Olivia and Felix has departed to continue their adventures (all the best to you guys!), and Alex remains for the time being, slaving away with the production of mosquito nets.

Unfortunately my MacBook has died, so Im not able to put out any more videos :/ More content of Brazil and Belèm will follow in not too long!

Current position